Day One: The First Workout

So, last night it happened: I had my very first workout session with my trainer, Ronn Burns. Verdict: It rocked!

It all started promisingly enough. I arrived at Train West Hollywood a little early, so I was able to change out of my work clothes and into shorts and a T-shirt and still be on time to meet Ronn in the gym. Changing in the locker room was a little odd. There was a guy sitting next to me on the bench changing for his workout, as well, and I felt like I was back in high school gym class again, not wanting to take off my shirt until he'd already left the room. Of course, even then, three other guys--all body-beautiful studs with amazing arms and chests--came sauntering into the locker room, so I pulled my workout shirt over my head pretty quickly and got out of there. LOL! Hopefully one of these days soon, I'll get over that.

Then it was in to the gym to meet Ronn, who first took me upstairs into his "private office" (aka the men's room) to get my measurements. I wasn't comfortable taking my shirt off, so I lifted it up instead, and he did my measurements. I have a 40-inch waist! A 40-FRICKIN'-INCH waist!!! Oh, my God! (NOTE: In my defense, I can still fit into a pair of 34-inch jeans, thank you very much!). Here are all my measurements:

Waist/belly: 40
Chest: 40
Bicep: 12 1/4
Weight: 169.2

After that humiliating experience was over ("Don't look at my belly!"), Ronn took me down to the treadmill and I walked in place for 30 minutes while Ronn went over my new "diet" with me. (Oops, not a diet; it's a "lifestyle change.") It's not too bad, actually. Well, except for my late-night snack/dessert being sugar-free Jell-O. We might have to work on that one! (I'm not much of a Jell-O fan. It's made with horse hooves. Ick!) Otherwise, the new menu consists of stuff like chicken breast (expected), veggies (ditto), fruits (more ditto) and lots of water (duh!). But there are a few nice surprises: I can still eat flour tortillas--the non-fat ones, of course, and brown rice is also allowed. I live for brown rice, so I was happy about that. Snacks consist of either an apple, a balance bar, a baked potato or 3 no-salt rice cakes. OK, so Doritos are out of the question, but I figured that would be the case. LOL!

"Don't worry: I'm going to give you back your Asian food eventually," Ronn tells me as we go over the menu. (He knows me so well already.) "And you're also going to have a cheat day, but your cheat day has to be the same day that you drink alcohol on, and you have to make sure it's always the same day. But for these first six days, you really have to stick to this menu."

After the treadmill, Ronn takes me upstairs to stretch me out. It's pretty intense. "This is the only part of the workout where you get to lie down and relax," he says. "Enjoy it." Fat chance. There was one stretching exercise that was rather interesting, involving something akin to the, um, "missionary position," (but my fondness for this particular stretch has to do with reasons other than health ones, haha), but who knew my hamstrings were so damned tight, or that, when Ronn stretched them out, I would want to howl out in agony. Still, I make it through the stretching and get a head rush when I stand up.

Ronn then tells me to lie down on a mat on the floor and give him 15 stomach crunches. Eeek! Crunches are the worst for me. I have no back strength to speak of, and sitting up from a lying-down position is always a challenge for me. Still, I manage to get through 15 reps, though I do have a lot of trouble giving Ronn just 5 sit-ups. "Ab workouts are my biggest challenge," I tell him, feeling the need to explain myself. "Don't worry," he reassures me. "You'll get there."

Then it's back downstairs to work out my upper body. Ronn wants to focus on my arms, chest and back, so he puts me on several machines that serve to strengthen those areas. He starts me at 35 pounds for the first 15 reps, then increases the weight to 50 for the second set. He compliments me on my form at several points ("You're probably the only person I've trained who actually got right into the correct position without me having to tell you how to do it first," he says when I get onto one machine), and then, after putting his hand on my chest while I'm doing a series of reps on said contraption, he adds, "I can tell you already that your chest is going to be the easiest thing to build up. You have a lot of muscle in there already that you don't know about, and it's going to be quick to add muscle mass there. Your arms are going to be your biggest challenge, even more so than your middle section." Interesting: Already I'm feeling a little more confident. (Ronn has a reason to be as well: Several times throughout our session, other trainers and clients jokingly ask him for his autograph. Guess they've all seen the Frontiers cover. "Get used to it," I tell him. "You're a star now.")

It takes me a little longer to master a variation on a bench press that Ronn shows me in which I have to arch my back by bringing my legs back toward the bench, but after Ronn spots me and then shows me how to do it himself, I finally get it. Each time, Ronn seems enthused. "You're doing great, Ken," he tells me. "It's going well." Good to hear... "In no time we'll have you ripped and plucked and tanned in time for Gay Pride." Ronn must notice my raised eyebrows, since he laughs and says, "I'm kidding, of course." Whew...

I'm surprised to find that I'm rather enjoying the workout, and especially having Ronn tell me that I'm doing the reps correctly. He comments on my form at several points, though the more reps I do with more weight added, the less stellar my form becomes. Haha. ("All in good time, my pretties, all in good time...") I'm also surprised that before I know it, Ronn is telling me the workout is over, though he asks if I would stick around for an extra 15 minutes to do some more treadmill work. "Sure," I reply, not quite ready to end the workout. Ronn leaves me with a few Isopure drinks to try out, and I finish up the workout with 15 minutes on the treadmill. Since my adrenaline is going, I up the speed from 2.5 to 3.0, then eventually to 3.5 for the remainder of the walk. Then, just for a nice "sprint to the finish," I increase the speed and finish my walk at 4.0, which is a nice little capper. When I get off the treadmill, though, boy does everything a little weird. As I walk through the gym, it feels like I'm moving on a conveyer belt and everybody is rushing right by me. Weeeird...

Then it's off to the locker room to get my stuff after I purchase a pair of workout pants (only $22.50--half off!), and then off to Trader Joe's so I can do some shopping, then finally home so I can make my first healthy dinner. Ronn gave me three options for each meal, so I opt for the chicken breast one, and grill it on my George Foreman. And, oddly enough, it's one of the best chicken breasts I've ever had. I don't know if that's because it's organic and I cooked it really well, or just because the excitement over working out and eating healthy is adding to its flavor. Oh well. I'm not gonna argue. I just savor it and smile as I watch an episode of 30 Rock and pat myself on the back for a job well done.

Not a bad first day at all, huh? :)

I'm feeling just a wee bit sore this morning. Lifting my arms in the shower was a bit interesting, and there is some tenderness to my abs, but otherwise, I feel good. I ate my healthy little breakfast and lunch, and am looking forward to another great workout tonight. Catch you all tomorrow!