So now that things are beginning to get down to the wire (we've got just a little over a month left until we are at the official six-month mark), Ronn has begun to really "step things up" in the gym. Not that we were pussying around before or anything, but now he's really begun to pack the weight on.On Tuesday, we started our session off with some lunge walks across the room. 15 deep steps over and 15 deep steps back. With 20-pound weights! OH. MY. GOD. Then we went downstairs to do some squats with me supporting a bar on my shoulders. HOLY. SH#T! For the rest of the night--and all day long Wednesday--I could barely walk. Talk about pain. Sheesh. Then last night (Thursday), it was all about biceps, and Ronn again gave me the heavy weights. There were moments after completing a set of 15 reps where I almost thought I was going to have an emotional outburst. I have to really collect myself in these moments, because sometimes it hurts so much to complete the reps that I have tears stinging my eyes. I may hate Ronn for 30 seconds afterward, but I just hold my tongue and breathe and wipe the sweat off my brow and come back for more.
I've been surprising myself, though. As I watch my body change right in front of my eyes ("Damn, Ken, check ou
t those biceps!"), I continue to be amazed by the things we can accomplish if we set our minds to it. For me, this experience has given me so much more confidence in myself. For years I kept myself out of the gym because I kept telling myself that I would fail at it. I just didn't think I had what it took to do it and succeed at it. But the more I keep at it, the more I succeed, and the more confident I become. And it's not just because I can look in the mirror and see my arms getting bigger and my stomach getting smaller. It's not that I feel "hotter" or "sexier." What I'm getting out of this experience is so much more than the physical pay-off. Just the liberation that comes from putting your mind to something and accomplishing it profoundly motivational. When I leave the gym, I feel like I can conquer the world.
The great part, though, is how it's affected nearly every other area of my life, as well. The confidence has spilled over into my relation- ships with my friends, to the way I approach my bosses at work, to the way I am handling my career. I've had "breakthrough moments" in every one of these areas. I speak more freely when my feelings are hurt by friends. I told my bosses I wasn't happy in my job anymore, told them I wanted more money, and--when they ponied up with a very small increase--I gave them my notice and found a new gig that pays better instead. (I start June 25. Yay, me!) I've experienced such feelings of elation and joy as of late, it's actually been a little overwhelming at times. Working out in the gym has led me into a perfect period of clarity in my life. Now that I've conquered one of my biggest fears--and now that I no longer spend my time being down on myself for being out of shape--I can see myself for who I truly am, and I am able to be more proactive in the areas where work still needs to be done. Who ever would have thought that this all could have come from working out?Anyway, there you go. More insight from a gym bunny in training! I'll be sure to check back in with ya soon to keep you updated on what's happening with my body. I'm going to start measuring my body to see how much muscle mass I've gained. That should be fun! Woo hoo! I'm just one pound away from my desired weight (160 pounds, down from 172 when I started), so, like Kate Hudson was said in Almost Famous, "It's all happening!" So stay tuned!
(Pics by Kevin Cazares)
